Random Observations

While looking at tartar control toothpaste recently, it occurred to me…what DO they make Tarter Sauce out of? Both substances are sort of white…. Some dentist out there has a really creepy secret, I think.

Pumpkin cutting is like the U.S. tax code. It’s gotten a lot more complex over the past 20 years, but not necessarily any prettier.


“They” are the reason for many of the daily things that cause unhappiness in daily life:

• “They” had the road all torn up.
• “They” make us do it this way.
• “They” say that this is the rule.
• “They” don’t like it if I do this.
• “They” are jacking up the price of gas.
• “They” don’t like me.
• “They” got me into trouble.
• “They” said it wouldn’t rain, and now my hair is ruined.

So, who are “they” and why don’t we sell them to the military as a secret weapon? Let ‘em make somebody else miserable.

Cats are not necessarily smarter than dogs. It’s all about their attitude. So, why do we think that snooty, bossy, standoffish individuals are smart?

When someone says the phrase “I’m not going to lie to you…” that usually means that the next words spoken are guaranteed to be at least 90% confabulation.

Ditto the phrase “Now, don’t get me wrong.” Oh yeah, they are about to say something really insulting.

Fat Free

Vivien Leigh: “Do I look fat in this?”
Clark Gable: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Cue music….

Ahh, would life be different if our ill-fated lovers had this conversation? Could Tara have been saved through healthy self-esteem and body image? Well. Maybe not, but the chance to change the world is NOT gone with the wind.

Yes, I’m on a soap box..again. This is National Fat Free Talk Week. Yup, the opportunity for tasty, yet, fat free living.

Are you aware that Americans are virtually the ONLY society in which it is perfectly acceptable to converse, while dining, about the varied and misundry reasons why we should not be eating – let alone enjoying – what is before us on our plate? “OH my goodness, I am can’t believe I ordered this! I’m going to have to do penance for weeks.” “I am being sooo bad,” “Oh, I really shouldn’t,” “That will go straight to my hips!” (fact: despite any evidence to the contrary, unless you have an extreme physically defect, it will go straight to your stomach, travel throughout your entire alimentary canal, perhaps make a brief stop for conversion into a storage vehicle via the liver, and then decide where to vacation – “ahh, the thighs are lovely this time of year.”) More than 2/3 of American women in a magazine survey admitted to feeling guilty every day about eating. EVERY DAY?

Sheeze! What’s wrong with that picture…we have a world at war, Haitians living in tent cities a year after their devastating earthquake, entire countries with inadequate healthcare, Americans sleeping on sewer grates to stay warm, and millions of us feel guilty because we EAT??

We feel that it is our due to comment upon other’s size, shape, food choices, and then recommend improvements. Hmmm. Let me just say “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” As for me? Well, my little, OK not-so-little, pile of stones is just gonna stay out of traffic.

Do you think this doesn’t really matter? Well, what if I told you that:

• Over 40% of 1st thru 3rd grade girls want to be thinner
  
• About 80% of 10 year old girls are afraid of being fat


• More than half of 9 and 10 year old girls feel better about themselves if they are on a diet


• More than 80% of families with daughters 9 to 11 year old are “sometimes” or “very often” on a diet


• More than 90% of women surveyed on college campuses had attempted to control weight through dieting, and nearly a quarter dieted “often” or “all the time”


• Nearly of third of “normal dieters” progress to pathological eating


• Long term research shows that over 90% of dieters will regain lost weight in 1 to 5 years


• Nearly one-half of all American women are “on a diet” on any given day
  
• Americans spend of $50 billion (read that again…$50 BILLION) dollars per year on diet-related products each year.

And folks…it ain’t working! (Pardon the vernacular). We aren’t getting smaller. So…in a wholly unscientific bout of deductive reasoning…guilt, talking about ourselves in a negative way, and punitive behavior towards food is NOT effective in moving towards better health.

What would happen if…for ONE week…you looked in the mirror and said “Well, hello gorgeous.” Put on your jeans and said “I make these look good!” Or better yet, when trying on something that doesn’t fit, said “This just isn’t made to fit me” instead of blaming your body?!

Try…for ONE week…to converse over meals about something besides the nutritional content of your food. Here are some suggestions:

• the weather,


• fall leaves,


• football,


• what you are reading,


• a movie you’ve recently seen or would like to see,


• a kind gesture that you made that day,


• something nice that someone else did for you,


• your very first memory,


• one thing you’d like to do before the end of the year,


• what made you proud today,


• your best friend in grade school (whatever happened to her/him)


• or, in honor of the season, your worst ever Halloween costume

And..for ONE week…THIS WEEK…if someone else insists upon talking about the “f” word (not THAT one! I mean f*a*t), please smile and kindly say “Can’t talk about that. I’m fat free this week.”

Let me know how it goes.

p.s. Maybe they say it better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CuMJybvAh8

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKPaxD61lwo&feature=related

Are we having a good time?

And now, a word about fun.
Have some.
Go ahead, you deserve it.
No, no, I mean it. Have a big ol’ helping of a good time.
It’s calorie free, doesn’t require a reservation, and may result in a throaty chuckle, a deep guffaw or two, and perhaps even unabashed laughter.

What, you say you don’t have time for that? Well, join the crowd.

Have you noticed how gosh, darn serious we all have become? I offer my opinion that easily hurt feelings, road rage, petty gossip, and insignificant arguments could all be reduced through an injection of fun into daily life.

How and why did we Americans become such a serious bunch?

Watch on your commute tomorrow. The faces of those folk in the cars enroute to work, your coworkers as they cross the parking lot, and even your own face in the mirror. Do you see a person ready to grab a good time as it passes by? To see the humor in daily life? To laugh out loud? Is there a sparkle in the eyes of the person you observe? Laugh lines ready to crinkle?

I’ll bet not. Too few of us see every day as the opportunity for adventure. No, we save having a good time for vacations. Oh, maybe on the weekend between chores. But to see life as a joyful experience? Why not? Oh, I can hear you now…because life is full of hard times. Because there are burdens to bear. Well, in the immortal words of Truvy, “laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions.”

I do believe that we were created by the Divine. And not created to be a drone, slaving away to accomplish, accomplish, accomplish and then measure those accomplishments. No I believe we were created to live – and laugh. How can you not believe in a creator with a sense of humor? Consider the artichoke, possums, and cellulite. The fact that as we age hair grows in abundance from ears and nostrils. If that isn’t some sort of creational practical joke, I’m not sure what is. God has a great sense of humor – thank goodness.

So, I challenge you to make the view from my seat (this week) one of seeing more people having a good time. Just living. Don’t wait…life, and the good time it is meant to be, might just pass you by.

Missing Lucy

It's not the anniversary of her death, or any other special occasion, but today I am really missing Lucy, our beloved Golden Retriever.

• She loved us just the way we all were - sometimes grumpy, sometimes goofy, and always busy!
• She was happy to see us - always.
• She thought she was pretty sneaky - getting up on the sofa when we went to work.
• She enjoyed a simple treat like a nap on the waterbed as though it was the most precious gift of all.
• She needed a "front end alignment", and always walked with her back end just a bit off kilter from her front.
• You could judge her happiness level by the height of her tail.
• She was the foresworn enemy of squirrels and rabbits, but didn't chase cats.
• She never actually caught a rabbit or a squirrel however, always misjudging how far to stealth approach before pouncing. Her "hunt" always ended with good natured barking at the base of a tree, or beside a hedge - where the prey had magically disappeared.
• She patiently napped waiting for me to go to bed when I worked on a project late at night. Of course, she would raise her head up and sigh periodically at the stupidity of humans.
• She was purely pitiful when we took her to the vet. 70+ lbs of quivering "I wanna go home!"
• ...and most of all, she loved Steve best of all.

We all miss you big girl. But today, I'm especially wishing you were here for a walk in the cool crisp fall air. You would have loved it...and so would I.