Bicycle Hero

Did I mention that I am married to Lance Armstrong? OK, not THE Lance Armstrong. And, in fact, his name isn’t Lance or Armstrong. But, he is my bicycling hero.

Are you sitting down? Please do, for safety’s sake. The shock of what I am about to say could cause you to collapse in surprise. Okay, maybe not, but it is always good to sit while you are using a computer. Here goes…. two weeks ago HH rode home from Steubenville OH (460 miles)… unsupported… in 4 riding days. Whew, I get tired just typing that mileage. What a guy.

The story: DD (Emily) had to be back at Franciscan University on Aug. 9 for RA training. We were in Nebraska during the week prior to Aug 9 (see previous blog “Ft. Bob”). So, we flew her back to Pittsburgh from Omaha. Steubenville and Franciscan University are about 30 miles from the Pittsburgh airport. Enter the wacky plan proposed by HH: When we get back to KY, he will pack Emily’s car with all the essentials needed to live in a dorm, drive to Steubenville, help Em set up her room, and then ride his bike home. “What do you think?” he asked.

What do I think? I think I need to see if your life insurance is caught up. I think that this may be about the bravest thing I’ve ever heard of. And, dear husband, do you realize that we are talking about a bike ride back from O-H-I-O? That’s what I think.

Here’s what I said: “Great idea.” I am nothing if not the Queen of the Kingdom of Supportive Spouses. And so, on Monday, Aug. 11 I waved farewell as a seriously overloaded Honda Civic pulled out of the driveway with HH’s beloved “Streak” riding on a rack strapped to the rear of the car.

Too bad HH didn’t keep a journal of his adventure. Much like Lewis and Clark, it would give insight into travels through uncharted territory (or at least through territory where few folk drive since the advent of the interstate system). Since he didn’t journal, I will be forced to take literary liberties with the story.

Steve’s Journal (if he’d kept one):
Epic Journey Day 0: Today, I become the only man to ever sleep in St. Clare dormitory at Franciscan University. It is strangely uneventful. I guess I really am middle-aged. Tomorrow I leave on the journey that no one has ever taken before. I am risking flat tires, sunburn, and flying insects galore to return to home and hearth. I sure hope that I can milk this for some sympathy and favors when I get home. Must remember to tell Mary about the events of my daily ride with a slight quiver of fatigue in my voice and always end with “But, it’s OK. I can make it. It’s worth it to take care of our daughter.” Oh yeah, this will be good.

Epic Journey Day 1: I came, I saw, I rode. And rode. And rode. Did I mention that I rode today? Found myself in Zanesville OH today with sunlight to spare. So, I called home and left a message saying “It’s only 35 more miles to Lancaster, I think I’ll head there.” Boy, that ought to get Mary’s goat…she’ll think that her 10 mile rides are really whimpy. I am so diabolical.

Here’s what I notice about Ohio roads: #1 they have nice wide shoulders, #2 the shoulders are pretty clean, #3 I haven’t had a driver honk, show me a one-finger wave, or otherwise give me grief all day long, and #4 this hilly crap is getting old, give me some flat land! Hey! Is that a Hampton Inn I see in the distance?

Epic Journey Day 2: I feel refreshed as I start riding today. A hot shower, delicious dinner at Olive Garden, good night's sleep, and free breakfast make for a happy bicyclist. The only thing that can make today better is some flat roads.

Epic Journey Day 3: Arrived in Cincinnati last evening and caught up with my brother Mark. Comfy bed and family to hang with, does it get any better? I’m going to stay here another night. I am doing laundry, planning to canoe, and go to the movies to see “Mummy”. Great! Note to self: be sure to not let Mary know I am having fun. Maybe I should whimper a bit and complain about aching muscles? Yeah, that ought to do it. Is a heartfelt, “I miss you” over the top, or just the right touch? Hmmmm. It is so hard being a husband; I have to be on my toes at all times.

Epic Journey Day 4: The first 30 miles were on a section of “Rails to Trails”. Awesome. If only the entire route to Bowling Green were as nice. Today I started the confusing part of the ride, where I have to change highway numbers over and over again to weave my way safely towards home. I surely could tell when I entered Kentucky. The nice shoulders disappeared. Instead narrow, pock-marked, gravel strewn pseudo-shoulders appeared. And within 15 minutes of being back in Kentucky I had my first harassment by a driver. A motorcycle driver. He clearly saw that Streak and I were a real threat to his manhood, poor sap.

Tonight I am in Owenton KY. My hostess is a combination motel owner/operator, waitress, and school bus driver. Must remember to mention that to Mary the next time she complains about how busy she is. Getting a room in Owenton was an adventure. It required a phone call to and from my favorite daughter-in-law, some prayer, and the luck of a guest leaving unexpectedly. Who’d have ever guessed that there would be a rush on rooms in Owenton KY?? But, I’m safe, and clean, and full from a tasty meal at a mom-and-pop cafe, served by (who else?) the owner/operator/driver/waitress. Best of all, I have a stash of food for morning. Chocolate donuts, breakfast of champion bicyclists. Life is good.

Epic Journey Day 5: Today will be my last day of riding. If I’m not at home, I will be too darn close to spend another night in a motel. I’m going to travel some familiar roads today, past Hodgenville, Bardstown, Mumfordville, Horse Cave and Cave City. It’s been fun being an oddity. I’ve met some interesting people who wondered what I was up to “in those tight sissy shorts”.

Epic Journey Epilogue: So, I guess it’s time to reflect upon this journey. I traveled 460 miles in 4 days of riding for an average of 115 miles per day. I despise one pair of my cycling shorts and I swear to never wear them again – of course that is presuming that I don’t die of an infection from chafing all the skin off my thighs on this ride. Cycling is hungry work. M&M’s are good energy food. Gatorade is not a luxury.

The End. (cue music and applause)

For all Hollywood big shots reading this entry, I will be available to work on the screen play. I think Meryl Streep should portray me. It’s eerie how much we resemble each other. Strong, brave, and beautiful wife taking care of the family homestead as her spouse goes off to face new and potentially dangerous challenges. The wind blows through my disheveled long blond hair as I wave a tearful farewell, not knowing if we will ever see each other again. Steve Carrell should play HH. And Streak must appear as himself

Want a challenge?

This week I read the most interesting idea on another blog. So I am jumping on the bandwagon…it is nice to have goals and admittedly, I LOVE lists! Anyone care to join me?

The mission should you choose to accept…
- Complete 101 preset tasks in 1001 days.

The criteria…
- Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable, or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of effort on your part).

Between Aug. 31, 2008 and May 28, 2011 (my 34th wedding anniversary!!), these are the things I want to accomplish:

Personal

1. Post on my blog weekly, for at least 8 consecutive weeks.
2. Write a letter (not e-mail) once a week.
3. Call a sibling weekly.
4. Read 101 books (textbooks don’t count!).
5. Lose 50 pounds.
6. Work out 5 times a week for 3 consecutive months.
7. Drink 80 ounces of water daily for 6 months.
8. Try a new cuisine (Thai?).
9. Be in bed before 10:30pm for a month.
10. Swim twice a week for a month.
11. Floss for 30 days straight.
12. Go to a concert.
13. Take a dance class.
14. Wear sunblock every day from May 15 to September 15.
15. Shave my legs 3 times a week for 3 months ;-)
16. Watch the sunrise on a beach or mountain.
17. Finish my NP.
18. Get a new job.
19. Walk 1000 miles in a year.
20. Bike 2000 miles in a year.
21. Don’t curse (aka cuss) for a week.
22. Complete a whole tooth whitening kit without missing a day.
23. Journal 5 times a week for 3 months.
24. Run a 5K.
25. Read 3 non-fiction books.
26. Enter a recipe in the Pillsbury Cook-Off.
27. Make homemade bread.
28. Bring my lunch to work every day for one month.
29. Select my clothes (for work) the night before for one month.
30. Try a new dish at an old favorite restaurant.
31. Do not buy coffee (or any other beverage) at a coffee shop for one month.
32. Have 3 servings of dairy daily for one month.
33. Consume my 60 g. of protein every day for a week.
34. Go bowling.
35. Fly a kite.
36. Jump rope.
37. Walk to work 101 times.
38. Get a massage.
39. Do not eat after 7 pm for one month.
40. Go to the dentist,. as recommended, every 6 months.
41. Go to Nashville meetings 9 out of 12 months in 2009 and 2010.
42. Look in the mirror and say something positive to myself everyday.
43. Don’t make a joke about my size, or other physical feature, for one week.

Creativity

1. Make my Mom a quilt.
2. Make my Goddaughter a quilt.
3. Learn to knit.Scrapbook our European adventure.
4. Take a quilting class.
5. Finish a counted cross-stitch Christmas stocking.
6. Sort the boxes of photos and get them in albums.
7. Make Christmas gifts for my work buddies.

(50 total)

Love

1. Go on a date with Steve once a mont.
2. Hide a surprise love note for Steve twice a month.
3. Go to a movie that Steve wants to see that I don’t.
4. Take Steve on a weekend get-away.
5. Have breakfast with Steve, outside in the backyard, on 12 Saturdays.
6. Make one of Steve’s favorite dishes once a month.
7. Get Steve something he would never get himself.
8. Tell Steve thank-you when he says I’m beautiful instead of making a negative comment about myself, 20 times.

(58 total)

Friends and Family

1. Do not watch TV for a week.
2. Go camping…real camping in a tent!
3. Get family photos done.
4. Have a weekly game night.
5. Go a week without using the computer at home to do work or check e-mail.
6. Do not play computer games for one month.
7. Each month send a card or care package to each of the kids, for 12 months.
8. Have a dinner party once a month for 6 months.
9. Stay at the Wig Wam motel.
10. Go canoeing.
11. Visit one of Steve’s sibs.
12. Visit one of my sibs.
13. Go to an event of a niece or nephew (graduation, play, dance recital, soccer game).
14. Call a friend 5 days a week for one month.
15. Have a girl’s day with my daughter and daughter-in-law(s).
16. Go with Steve to a marathon in another country.

(74 total)

Charity

1. Do something nice for a stranger anonymously.
2. Do something nice for someone in my family anonymously.
3. Purge and donate 101 items to St. Vincent DePaul, Goodwill, etc.
4. Pay for someone’s coffee or tea anonymously at Starbuck’s or another coffee shop.
5. Do a service ministry.

(79 total)

Home

1. Cook at home 7 times a week for 1 month.
2. Try one new recipe a month for a year.
3. Make a will.
4. Clean a closet once a month for one year.
5. Make a sweet dessert only once a week for 6 months.
6. Paint the front hallway.
7. Work with Steve in the yard, every other week during one consecutive spring, summer, and fall.
8. Talk to a neighbor once a week for 6 months.
9. Sort and purge PhD stuff.
10. Sort and purge magazines every 3 months.

(89 total)

Spiritual

1. Try a new style of prayer.
2. Go on a retreat.
3. Add to my spiritual log once a month.
4. Say a rosary every day for 6 months.
5. Offer up an act of sacrifice one a week, for the intention of someone I love.
6. Say a prayer before the start of every meeting at work.
7. Go to 2 FOP’s a semester while Emily is at Franciscan.
8. Go to a daily mass 101 times.
9. Coordinate a spiritual book group.

(98 total)

Finishing Up

1. Write a thank you e-mail to the person whose blog suggested this.
2. Put $1 into a box for every item I cross off and then do something fun with it at the end of 1001 days.
3. For every item on the list not completed at the end of the 1001, donate $1 to charity.

Riding the hide

For anyone reading the previous blog entry and wondering what is "riding the hide"? Here is a priceless video of my daughter-in-law, Kristin, riding the hide:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVMJ2hE4xDk

Ft. Bob

Quick…what do you get when you combine a Xerox salesman with three redheads, five more-than-age 50-somethings, two southern belles, a map of South Dakota, a laptop computer and projector, one energized golden retriever, 5,000 motorcycles, a herd of buffalo, a pair of scissors and a cereal box? Well, an incomplete list for one thing….but, more importantly…the 2008 Prusa family reunion.

I imagine with the passing of a week since the reunion ended, Mom and Dad have recovered enough to ask themselves: “Who were those people? And why do they say they are related to us?”

Let me explain. It all began with a Thanksgiving Meatloaf. Okay, so maybe going back to how Mom and Dad met is taking the story back too far (or as HH would say: “Let me back up a bit here…”). But the point remains the same, Mom and Dad: you brought us into this world, you have to claim us.

For my family, it was a National Lampoon worthy event. Five states, 1200 miles, two time zones, a dozen bathroom stops (each way), and our darn dog still wouldn’t just lie down and sleep. As far as I’m concerned, on our next trip she’s driving. All that boundless energy would be put to good use. HH, DD and I would be very happy to snooze our way to Western Nebraska.

Then there was the exciting scenic…sights and well…smells.
DD: “Euwww, what is that?”
GITYM (Gorgeous, intelligent, and way-to-young-to-have-adult-children, mother): With t-shirt pulled over her nose “I think it’s the sewer truck.”
DD: “Dad HAD to pull up next to the smelly sewer truck to pump gas, didn’t he???!!!???”
HH: “What smell?”
Energetic Golden Retriever: Woof (translation: wouldn’t someone really like to walk me over to McDonald’s to get a burger?)

None-the-less, we made it. We arrived at Ft. Robinson State Park, near Crawford Nebraska while still speaking to each other. Another 100 miles and I think one of us may have joined the dog kennel strapped under the bungee cords on the roof of the mini van. That would be the lucky family member – free of the ever present scent of eau d’la dog. But I digress.

Oddly enough, nearly all of the Prusa siblings with spouses, children, and essential supplies and equipment in tow arrived at Ft. Bob at close to the same time. That arrival marked the last time for the week that we all were in sync and headed the same direction at the same time. I think it may have had something to do with the promise of Dad’s BBQ feather bones and Mom’s baked beans. Oh yeahhhhh…you KNOW it’s going to be a good get together when 28 people and a dog start the week out with ample servings of baked beans and shared housing. And no air conditioning.

We always have the traditional Prusa fun of “Butt Darts”, the “Cereal Box Game”, “Fly, Fly, Who Ate the Fly” (ok…we only played that one time in 1999), and “Who Can Remember the Most-Embarrassing-and-Possibly-False-Thing From Childhood?”. This reunion, a new activity was added - a family version of a Corporate Annual Report. Cue the laptop and projector. Each family had the opportunity to give a presentation to the group as to what had transpired over the 2-years since the last reunion. Given that we, for the most part, either talk TO or ABOUT one another on a regular basis, this was a challenge. Creativity was essential. Visual aids were a good thing. Oh, and candy bribes to encourage attendance and participation in the post-presentation Q&A’s were vital. Sleeping during presentations was not allowed, and a physician’s statement was required to actually miss a session. Luckily, most of the adults have #1 attended college, #2 regularly attend Mass, and #3 have to participate in meetings at work. So, we all have ample experience in sleeping while appearing awake and interested. Just kidding Mom, Dad, and God!

My top ten favorite questions asked after presentations:
10. Can we have more “Cornhusker Crumble”?
9. Are we done yet?
8. What’s it like being married to Maggie? (my poor picked-upon baby sister)
7. How and where did you propose to Grandma? (never did get a straight answer on that one…)
6. Did you ask Grandma’s Dad for her hand in marriage?
5. Are we done yet?
4. What is the biggest change you’ve seen in the world?
3. Can I have some more candy?
2. Did you ever leave a polar bear in charge of your house?
And….drum roll…
1. Are we done yet?

Another new activity: Prusa Iron Chef. Need I say that competition was fierce? The family was paired into 6 teams, with three preparing a dish featuring the secret ingredient of buffalo; and three preparing a dish featuring corn. With a plentiful contingent of really, really, excellent cooks, odds were mighty good for a tough job of judging. Thus we called upon the wisest family members present: Dad (aka “Give-Me-Meat-and-Sweets”), Mom (aka “Don’t-Make-Me-Pick”) and Maggie’s mother-in-law Gail (aka “I-Like-It-All, What-Did-My-Baby-Boy-Make?”). Scoring was tight on such memorable selections as “Buff-a-Rogi”, “Jamaican Jerk Buffalo”, and “Cornhusker Crumble” (the previously mentioned sweet entry). We almost had to contact the American Olympic Committee after a couple protests were lodged – one alleging that the Jamaican Jerk actually seasoned (are you ready for this shocker?) BEEF (gasp!). As to the other completely unfounded protest, I want to go on record stating that it was a complete coincidence that my entry, Buffalo Chili, won by a landslide, (a very small landslide – actually a mere dustball). And how the ballots got thrown away so quick had to be a completely inadvertent mistake.

Breakfast at the lodge was a delightful routine. In fact, the lodge staff enjoyed it so much that I overheard them insuring that everyone had a chance to spend time with us: “NO. I took care of THEM yesterday. It’s YOUR turn.”

We had unusually moderate weather, making it easy to take part in all the outdoor activities Ft. Bob and surrounding area had to offer. The trail horses are most likely still looking longingly down Highway 20, searching for the daily family riders. The tennis court was well used, the pool - well splashed, and the sunset hike to the top of the bluff was so good that it had to be done two nights in a row. Prusa family members’ spelunked Wind Cave, summitted Harney Peak, and checked to see what’s on the backside of those presidential images on Mt. Rushmore (Nope, not a presidential full moon. The answer: yet MORE motorcyclists!). A sizeable number “rode the hide” at the Ft. Bob Rodeo (don’t even ask!) We walked and bicycled miles-and-miles, ate Buffalo Stew and sang along to “The Chicken Song”, and some took a culture break to see “Guys and Dolls” at the Post Playhouse. Rumor has it that beautiful Bridget is now engaged to the Buffalo Stew singer.

In between organized (and disorganized) activities, we caught up on life and laughter. And we watched as the cousins played and seemed to grow up before our very eyes. For myself, I had the supreme pleasure of watching my brothers and sisters do their job as outstanding parents – and outstanding people. Where else do you see 3 beautiful women, and a couple cute girls, voluntarily gather for the Sun Salutation and other yoga poses – as the Nebraska sun rose? The brothers-in-law “let” the oldest nephew beat them at golf – twice (that’s their story anyway). And…the energetic dog eventually won over the time and attention of the tenderhearts.

What a lucky, lucky bunch we are. To be able to gather with both parents and nearly all of the siblings and spouses. To truly enjoy each other. And to have family that practices unconditional love. It really did all start with a Thanksgiving Meatloaf. And we still have lots of thanksgiving to do.

In a final wrap-up, I want to let the sibs know that I did wear down Mom and Dad as we drove home across the state. I am inheriting the National Geographic collection, and many other treasures yet to be discovered at the Thrift Store. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah – I always have been the favorite.