My oldest son is getting married. MY son. Getting married. I am old enough to have a son GET MARRIED. Can you tell that this realization is slow in arriving? The wedding is in 11 days.
There is no road as long as Memory Lane. The series of bicycle related memories are many. Big wheels, the first bicycle with training wheels (red as I recall). The eventful day that the training wheels came off, a bigger bike, a newer bike, a ride across Iowa, then another, Bicycle Tour of Colorado – twice, and the Three States Three Mountain 100 miler – twice. Oops, I left out the multi-state “Biking for Jesus” ministry tour between freshman and sophomore college years.
Where was I? Why does it seem like yesterday that I pulled him in a red wagon? Where was my attention as these years passed? Just as often occurs when I am on my seat, my view must have been focused inward, instead of outward. I missed the magic moment when he passed from boy to man.
I have always loved the sentiment that one of the most important things parents can give our children is roots and wings. As a cyclist, I hope that instead I have given my children balance and wheels.
Balance is so important as we cycle through life. It’s not easy traveling on two thin tires inflated to 80 psi. Dangers abound – unseen road hazards, sudden and unexpected stops, feet that won’t unclip from pedals, and the need to make quick moves to stay upright.
Balance is equally important as we move through present day life that can pressure us to 150 psi. Balance is knowing when good enough is good enough. Knowing where your values lie, and when to put your foot down and stand up for those values. Balance is about holding on and letting go – of worries, anger, fear, joy, and sadness. Balance is knowing when to lean left, lean right, and when a fall onto soft grass is better than holding course and meeting the immovable object. I wish my children the balance of knowing when and how to play; and when and how to focus on a task at hand. The balance of giving AND receiving. Gratitude.
Wheels take us places. And wheels are so much better than wings. With wings we travel fast and above the clouds. With wheels, the pace is ours to choose. Nature is beckoning. With wheels, we only have to open our eyes. We can open our eyes to the outside world, and enjoy the people, places, smells, sights, and sounds on every mile of the journey of life. With wheels we can enjoy the ride while opening our inner eye and ruminate about life, pleasant memories, and (for some of us) flights of fancy.
Wheels are a gift of time in this fast paced world. Purposeful play – one is going somewhere, but at your own speed. With wheels, my children will never lose track of the connection between their healthy body and how they pass through the world. I power my bicycle, not Exxon. If control is the issue, wheels are the solution. With enough effort, they can power up any hill and pause at the top to savor the victory. They can be unstoppable. They can set goals and achieve them: mile by mile, hill by hill, rain and shine, windy and calm. Over time, wheels are the counterbalance to the “got to have it now” mentality. Wheels take time, perseverance, and a willingness to be joyful on the long downhill runs that follow a summit. Wheels are a gift.
I love you, my son, as you move into this new phase of life. Bon Voyage – it’s a glorious ride!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Carpe Diem
As I rode to work this week, I observed that the world appears to be divided into two types of people. I base this upon the morning demeanor of drivers coming across the vision of a pudgy middle-aged woman, wearing a purple backpack, on a bicycle. I’m sure this data collection and decision making method meet no known scientific criteria, but I stand behind my conclusion.
The two categories are: Carpe Diem and Carpe Complainem. For those who are not as fluent in Latin as myself this roughly translates into the “Seize the Dayers” versus “Seize the Complainters”. (Forgive me Sister Mary Brendan, high school Latin teacher)
The Carpe Diem crowd (hereafter referred to as CD) is identified by the ability to smile and wave, even if it requires the use of medical strength caffeine. They might be talking on the cell phone, nodding to music, tapping fingers on the steering wheel, or applying lipstick, but they shared a similarity in that they seemed to be looking for the first (or next) bright spot in the day. Many a CD’er didn’t wait for me to wave or smile, they started the friendly communication. Not all appeared to be morning people (I’m not). Some appeared to do a double take, “did I really see that?”, but once reassured that they were not hallucinating, they grinned and some shook their head in mock wonder. I believe I may have been the topic around a water cooler or two, “You’re never going to believe what I saw today...”
In contrast, the Carpe Complainems (hereafter referred to as CC) have shoulders that are already hunched to near earlobe level before 8 a.m. When encountering a bicyclist, their first thought appeared to be “road kill”. Road kill wearing a purple back pack. They lean on the horn or pass without moving more than a quarter-inch away from the cyclist. One cheery chap shouted “get on the sidewalk.” I encourage him to read the Kentucky State Drivers Manual, since his current reading doesn’t seem to be bringing much joy to his life. If I dared make eye-contact with a CC’er they quickly moved their eyes to the right or left and stared blindly into space. No smiles. No friendly waves, not even the one-finger type. CC’ers seemed to be bound to their purposeful life…get to the office…get to work…get ‘er done…and - by golly - make sure that no fun is had along the way. If they spoke of me, I imagine it was more like this: “D*** bicyclist slowed me down by 40 seconds on the way to work today. I had to park two extra parking stalls down."
I think they need a purple backpack. I know I feel much better when I wear mine. In the meantime...take time to watch the leaves change color, enjoy a fall walk or ride, try smiling on the way to work, pet a dog (you just can't be grumpy while petting a dog), and Carpe Cheerum (seize some good cheer)!
The two categories are: Carpe Diem and Carpe Complainem. For those who are not as fluent in Latin as myself this roughly translates into the “Seize the Dayers” versus “Seize the Complainters”. (Forgive me Sister Mary Brendan, high school Latin teacher)
The Carpe Diem crowd (hereafter referred to as CD) is identified by the ability to smile and wave, even if it requires the use of medical strength caffeine. They might be talking on the cell phone, nodding to music, tapping fingers on the steering wheel, or applying lipstick, but they shared a similarity in that they seemed to be looking for the first (or next) bright spot in the day. Many a CD’er didn’t wait for me to wave or smile, they started the friendly communication. Not all appeared to be morning people (I’m not). Some appeared to do a double take, “did I really see that?”, but once reassured that they were not hallucinating, they grinned and some shook their head in mock wonder. I believe I may have been the topic around a water cooler or two, “You’re never going to believe what I saw today...”
In contrast, the Carpe Complainems (hereafter referred to as CC) have shoulders that are already hunched to near earlobe level before 8 a.m. When encountering a bicyclist, their first thought appeared to be “road kill”. Road kill wearing a purple back pack. They lean on the horn or pass without moving more than a quarter-inch away from the cyclist. One cheery chap shouted “get on the sidewalk.” I encourage him to read the Kentucky State Drivers Manual, since his current reading doesn’t seem to be bringing much joy to his life. If I dared make eye-contact with a CC’er they quickly moved their eyes to the right or left and stared blindly into space. No smiles. No friendly waves, not even the one-finger type. CC’ers seemed to be bound to their purposeful life…get to the office…get to work…get ‘er done…and - by golly - make sure that no fun is had along the way. If they spoke of me, I imagine it was more like this: “D*** bicyclist slowed me down by 40 seconds on the way to work today. I had to park two extra parking stalls down."
I think they need a purple backpack. I know I feel much better when I wear mine. In the meantime...take time to watch the leaves change color, enjoy a fall walk or ride, try smiling on the way to work, pet a dog (you just can't be grumpy while petting a dog), and Carpe Cheerum (seize some good cheer)!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Tandem Anyone?
I met the most fascinating couple recently. Trim, grey-headed, and glowing with good health, they road into town on their tandem recumbent bicycle. A brief conversation revealed that they began recreational bicycle touring following retirement and have crisscrossed the US multiple times in the time since. Their current ride was a large loop beginning and ending at home in Tennessee with travel up and across Kentucky, down to the Natchez Trace in Tennessee, then across Alabama. Their gentle good nature was absolutely charming. I wanted to climb on Lil’ Red and ride right along with them.
Handsome husband (HH) and I have already talked about long distance bicycling in relation to our future retirement plans. We would love to complete a west to east coast tour. But frankly, despite my conversation with the charming Tennessee Twosome, and despite the fact that we own a tandem (Big Red), I can’t see us spending retirement on a tandem bike.
Do I really want to spend retirement looking at HH’s butt? Sure, in passing, a glance here and there, it’s a fine behind. But, day after day, rain or shine, mile after mile, spandex-clad buns as my primary view?
These are critical questions that a retirement planner can’t answer. He or she is only interested in discussing if we will have enough money to retire. I already know the answer to that – NO! None-the-less, we plan to go ahead and do it anyway. We’ve never let the lack of appropriate financing get in the way of any other life decision. Heck, if we’d waited until we could afford it, we wouldn’t have three kids. Three kids with darn fine teeth (braces), adequate educations, and pleasant memories of family vacations that we couldn’t afford. That’s right kids, pack your suitcases, we’re going on a guilt trip. Did I mention the hours of hard labor. OK…I admit that with #3 it was minutes of hard labor…but don’t slow me down, I’m on a roll here. Our financial planning for retirement has its own acronym: MOTK, Mooch Off The Kids.
Once again, I’ve digressed from the actual story: retirement on a tandem bike. Back to business, we’ve got the butt issue as the number one consideration. I think that issue could be manageable if I could figure out a way to Velcro a book to his rear, so that I could read as we rode.
Issue number two: steering. The uninformed bystander might think that steering on a tandem is a no-brainer, after all, only one rider has the capacity to turn the bike – the front rider. Let me tell you, the phrase Back Seat Driver was invented for tandem bicyclists. I consider it an important part of my job as “stoker” (the rear cyclist) to gasp at real (and imagined) road obstacles, lean right or left to indicate when and where I think we should turn, and verbally assist HH in his steering responsibility. Somehow he just doesn’t appreciate all the effort I put into carrying out this task. There is this certain set to his jaw that tells me he isn’t happy. All wives know THAT set of the jaw. So… do we really want to spend retirement risking TMJ from HH’s clenching his teeth? If he could only r-e-l-a-x and listen.
Issue number three involves stopping and coasting. You see, most bicyclists have a dominant foot that they unconsciously place on the ground when stopped, and a favored foot position when coasting (i.e. not peddling). HH and I are exact opposites on this. When cycling solo, I stop right foot down, HH left. When coasting (my favorite bicycling activity), I have the crank in a vertical position with one foot at 12 o-clock and one at 6 o-clock, HH is a horizontal coaster. I think it must be some stone-age throwback to his childhood coaster brake bicycling days. I don’t know that we can overcome issue number three. In fact, I think this should have been covered in the premarital counseling – horizontal coasters really shouldn’t marry vertical coasters if they ever expect to tandem.
My imagination flashes 20 years into the future, to the sight of Steve and I disembarking from Big Red should we decide to follow in the footsteps of the Tennessee Twosome. Instead of being trim and glowing with good health, I somehow see us rumpled, sweating, sunburned, and bickering:
“I thought you said that you put the map in the bike bag.” (HH)
“You know that it’s your job to keep track of the map. After all you’re the brains, I’m just the brawn in this operation” (me)
“Brawn, brawn?! You call that brawn? You’re back there reading a book?!” (HH)
“I only quit peddling that one time. It was an exciting point in the plot…you see the detective..” (me)
HH interrupts, “That ONE TIME?? That one time was the entire state of Utah!”
“It’s a skinny state, it could have been worse. So where are we?” (me)
“How do I know where we are? We don’t have a map anymore.” (HH)
“Well, you could ask someone.” (me)
“I would, but my jaw hurts.” (HH)
No, I admire the Tennessee Twosome, and wish them the best of luck, but I think HH and I had better spend our golden years on separate bicycles, MOTK.
Handsome husband (HH) and I have already talked about long distance bicycling in relation to our future retirement plans. We would love to complete a west to east coast tour. But frankly, despite my conversation with the charming Tennessee Twosome, and despite the fact that we own a tandem (Big Red), I can’t see us spending retirement on a tandem bike.
Do I really want to spend retirement looking at HH’s butt? Sure, in passing, a glance here and there, it’s a fine behind. But, day after day, rain or shine, mile after mile, spandex-clad buns as my primary view?
These are critical questions that a retirement planner can’t answer. He or she is only interested in discussing if we will have enough money to retire. I already know the answer to that – NO! None-the-less, we plan to go ahead and do it anyway. We’ve never let the lack of appropriate financing get in the way of any other life decision. Heck, if we’d waited until we could afford it, we wouldn’t have three kids. Three kids with darn fine teeth (braces), adequate educations, and pleasant memories of family vacations that we couldn’t afford. That’s right kids, pack your suitcases, we’re going on a guilt trip. Did I mention the hours of hard labor. OK…I admit that with #3 it was minutes of hard labor…but don’t slow me down, I’m on a roll here. Our financial planning for retirement has its own acronym: MOTK, Mooch Off The Kids.
Once again, I’ve digressed from the actual story: retirement on a tandem bike. Back to business, we’ve got the butt issue as the number one consideration. I think that issue could be manageable if I could figure out a way to Velcro a book to his rear, so that I could read as we rode.
Issue number two: steering. The uninformed bystander might think that steering on a tandem is a no-brainer, after all, only one rider has the capacity to turn the bike – the front rider. Let me tell you, the phrase Back Seat Driver was invented for tandem bicyclists. I consider it an important part of my job as “stoker” (the rear cyclist) to gasp at real (and imagined) road obstacles, lean right or left to indicate when and where I think we should turn, and verbally assist HH in his steering responsibility. Somehow he just doesn’t appreciate all the effort I put into carrying out this task. There is this certain set to his jaw that tells me he isn’t happy. All wives know THAT set of the jaw. So… do we really want to spend retirement risking TMJ from HH’s clenching his teeth? If he could only r-e-l-a-x and listen.
Issue number three involves stopping and coasting. You see, most bicyclists have a dominant foot that they unconsciously place on the ground when stopped, and a favored foot position when coasting (i.e. not peddling). HH and I are exact opposites on this. When cycling solo, I stop right foot down, HH left. When coasting (my favorite bicycling activity), I have the crank in a vertical position with one foot at 12 o-clock and one at 6 o-clock, HH is a horizontal coaster. I think it must be some stone-age throwback to his childhood coaster brake bicycling days. I don’t know that we can overcome issue number three. In fact, I think this should have been covered in the premarital counseling – horizontal coasters really shouldn’t marry vertical coasters if they ever expect to tandem.
My imagination flashes 20 years into the future, to the sight of Steve and I disembarking from Big Red should we decide to follow in the footsteps of the Tennessee Twosome. Instead of being trim and glowing with good health, I somehow see us rumpled, sweating, sunburned, and bickering:
“I thought you said that you put the map in the bike bag.” (HH)
“You know that it’s your job to keep track of the map. After all you’re the brains, I’m just the brawn in this operation” (me)
“Brawn, brawn?! You call that brawn? You’re back there reading a book?!” (HH)
“I only quit peddling that one time. It was an exciting point in the plot…you see the detective..” (me)
HH interrupts, “That ONE TIME?? That one time was the entire state of Utah!”
“It’s a skinny state, it could have been worse. So where are we?” (me)
“How do I know where we are? We don’t have a map anymore.” (HH)
“Well, you could ask someone.” (me)
“I would, but my jaw hurts.” (HH)
No, I admire the Tennessee Twosome, and wish them the best of luck, but I think HH and I had better spend our golden years on separate bicycles, MOTK.
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