Get a head start...a 101 ways to be a fool:
- Keep thinking that you can get a different result doing the same old thing.
- Wait until someone invites you to join in on a planned activity (eg. lunch, seeing a movie, learning a hobby).
- Expect your loved ones to read your mind. After all, they should know what you need, want, prefer, and dream about!
- Lie to yourself.
- Never, ever, try something new.
- Envy. Anyone, anything, any circumstance.
- Believe gossip.
- Love anyone more than you love yourself.
- Believe that loving yourself = always putting yourself first.
- Expect someone else to make you complete or happy.
- Wait to be thinner, more educated, better looking, older, married, divorced, a parent, in a new job, retired, wealthy, or in a new town so that you can relax and enjoy life.
- Ignore a sincere compliment.
- Act your age.
- Dress younger than your age.
- Ignore an opportunity to “Pay it forward”.
- Say “I can’t do that” without ever trying to see if you can.
- Go for a whole hour without smiling.
- Think that you are better than another person.
- Park in a handicapped spot if you are able bodied.
- Think small.
- Ever say to a small child “Be good, or else I’ll have that nurse give you a shot!"
- Never do a kind gesture anonymously.
- Keep count (eg. “I gave him a $5 gift and he only gave me a crummy $1 gift. He owes me. – or – I traded shifts with you when you needed help, now you owe me a trade whenever I need it.)
- Don’t drink water.
- Avoid asking for help when you need it.
- Have gone for more than 5-years without seeing a children’s movie.
- Discontinue an antibiotic before you’ve finished it because you “feel better."
- Try to use current lingo without knowing what a word or phrase really means.
- Use “stupid” or “loser” to describe yourself.
- Go a whole summer without eating outside.
- Fail to see sunrise at least once a year (mindfully SEE).
- Take yourself too seriously.
- Know that you are NEVER wrong.
- Assume the worst about someone because of skin color, dress, or spiritual belief.
- Make excuses.
- Think that Reality TV is reality.
- Think that all young people are spoiled, irresponsible, and/or greedy.
- Believe you are irreplaceable to your workplace, so you can coast.
- Steal from your workplace (Yes. I do mean paperclips, pens, paper, and time).
- Miss a chance to say “I love you."
- Wait for someone to say “I’m sorry” before you begin to forgive.
- Keep the “good stuff” on a high shelf and never use it.
- Tip small.
- Believe that anyone who is uninsured is lazy and deserves to lack access to health care.
- Talk rudely to a server, barista, or cashier.
- Have to be right, in every instance, no matter how small the issue.
- Never take a nap.
- Not know the capital of the state you live in.
- Fail to see sunset at least once a year (mindfully SEE).
- Throw away an item that someone else could use.
- Yell at the cashier about the price of an item.
- Believe that advertising is for your education and to help you.
- After seeking an exam and advice from a health provider, get a second opinion from a neighbor, stranger, co-worker, or family member.
- Know the name of the “bachelor” or “bachelorette” but not the name of the Vice-president.
- Think that all elderly are feeble, out-of-touch with the reality of today’s world, and/or incompetent.
- Eat at chain restaurants when you travel.
- Believe money buys happiness.
- Stockpile back issues of “Real Simple” magazine.
- As you eat something, talk about how you “shouldn’t be eating it".
- Count fat grams at the dinner table.
- Never, ever, do something just for the fun of it.
- Break a promise to a child.
- Pick your nose in the car.
- Watch “Dancing with the Stars” but never dance yourself.
- Avoid a friend because you are hurt or angry at something they did.
- Always wait for the video to come out.
- Think it’s a bother to romance your spouse.
- Forget your mother’s birthday.
- Decide to stop taking your blood pressure medicine.
- Have a custom kitchen yet eat out all the time.
- Kick a dog.
- Use a racial slur.
- Wear pajama bottoms in public, unless you are a toddler.
- Tell someone that they are going to hell because of the church or religion to which they belong.
- Say “I don’t remember” or “I can’t recall” when you really do.
- Believe that the end really does justify the means.
- Tolerate cruelty or torture.
- Argue with a teacher about one point on a project when you already have an “A".
- Adjust a private body part in public.
- Wear droopy pants if you are over the age of 2 years.
- Talk about a group of people as "them" or "those people."
- Apologize to a friend for the messiness of your home.
- Say no to a dinner invitation because you are dieting.
- Spend less time with family so that you can buy more stuff or take a better vacation.
- Have a room in the house that no one can comfortably sit in.
- Unless absolutely unavoidable, wear shoes that hurt your feet.
- Think that the woman your son loves isn’t good enough for him. Tell him that.
- Defend or excuse bad behavior (especially your own or your offspring's).
- Complain about the wait to be seen in the ER when you are on Day 1 of cold symptoms and have not tried any acetaminophen, ibuprofen, tea with lemon and honey, chicken soup, or simple rest.
- Quote People Magazine in a conversation about world events.
- Order anything on QVC or the Home Shopping Network if you can’t pay your credit card bill each month…in full.
- Ask a question for which you could find the answer with a little effort.
- Do something just because you should.
- Diss your mother-in-law.
- Drive in a way to make sure that car with the turn blinker can’t merge into your lane.
- Never have been inside your local library, and never intend to.
- Laugh at someone else’s expense.
- Get drunk.
- Two words: comb over.
- When you are invited to spend time with people you love say “no”, so that you can stay home to clean or mow.
- Really believe that it IS all about you.
